Lovely Hotels & The Motherless

I launched Luxe Recess on September 14, 2014, my mother’s birthday. She died unexpectedly in 2011 while I was ten weeks pregnant with my second child.

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My incredible mamma

Those who know me well know that my mother is responsible for my love of travel and hotels. She read me Eloise to sleep from age five until I didn’t want to be read to anymore. Her personality was one perfectly suited for travel: she was open-minded, curious, friendly, and reasonable. We loved going anywhere, and we enjoyed hotels of any kind.

On one of our annual trips to Texas to Christmas shop, we had checked out of the Mansion on Turtle Creek in Dallas and checked into a polar opposite hotel in Austin to visit the bargain shopper’s Mecca, the original Neiman Marcus Last Call (back when it really had incredible deals). She was never stuffy or fussy; and she was not a complainer. We laughed until tears streamed down our faces onto the dingy, stained carpet in this dive hotel for the contrasting experience we just had. She made any hotel fun; she showed me how to be a good guest, too.

Once I left the nest and moved to New York, we began traveling even more as a way to stay close and see each other. She was up for anything I planned: eating our way through Puglia, doing yoga in Tulum, golf-carting all over Harbour Island.

Then I became a mother. For a woman who always told me that she didn’t care whether I had children or not, she embraced grandmotherhood like a child sitting on your foot, begging to be dragged across the floor. She flew wherever I had to work so that she could take care of my daughter while I went to board meetings or conferences.

I knew how lucky I was, seeing how each of my friends experienced parenting with their own moms. When she arrived for a week’s visit, she’d clean our house, put food on the table and fresh peonies or lilies in our vases. And she did a lot of dishes. She earned the nickname “Dish Fairy” from me and my husband.

Nana

On the day she died from an aortic rupture, we had spoken about an hour earlier for the last time, agreeing to meet in New York for one of my work meetings so that she and my daughter could explore the city, and we could take her to the Eloise Tea at the Plaza together. “Yay! I’ll see you in April in New York!” We didn’t know that was going to be our last conversation, but had we planned it, nothing could have been better. To share last words full of excitement and love, for us each to have experienced the anticipation of the next joyful adventure was just the way it should have been.

After her death, I struggled. Anyone who loses a loving partner or parent knows that there is a period where your reality feels like torture. I became what is called a motherless mother.

After my grief got a little better and my son got a little older, we resumed traveling again, and we found that checking into hotels with our kids was even more soothing than before. We discovered that when service and hospitality are executed with sincerity, it can transcend the surface of common hotel interactions. When hotel staff are genuinely helping to make our children happy, well-fed, or well-rested, we soak it up in gratitude. You don’t even have to be grieving to feel this way, of course. You just have to be a parent.

Every time we return to a clean hotel room or we open the door to see the room service cart, we smile. This is my love letter of gratitude to the hospitality industry for helping us feel, for a second, that the Dish Fairy is still here with us. Thank you.

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Tea for two.

21 Responses
  • Sarah Ebner
    May 10, 2015

    This is such a moving and beautiful piece about your mother – and the pictures are gorgeous too. You clearly have so many great memories to share of wonderful times together – so sorry there aren’t more.

  • Katja - globetotting
    May 10, 2015

    What a lovely tribute to your mother, she sounds like she was an incredible person.

    • Robin
      June 20, 2015

      Thank you, Katja, she sure was!

  • Kirsten
    May 10, 2015

    First of all, what a lovely piece about your mother. I love that you have great memories that you can cherish and now share with your children as you travel. She sounds like she was a fabulous woman. Keep sharing your memories, they will help you heal and your kids will enjoy hearing them. Happy Mother’s Day to you.

  • Leigh Powell Hines
    May 11, 2015

    Robin,

    Such a beautiful post. I”m sorry about the loss of your Mom. I lost my dad in 2005. I understand. Looking forward to catching up with you soon.

  • Gretta -Mums do travel
    May 11, 2015

    This is very moving. Your mother sounds wonderful. How lovely that you had such great times and adventures travelling with her.

  • Brenda
    May 11, 2015

    Such a wonderful post about your mother. I also love travel because of my mother. My daughter, husband and I prefer staying at hotels more than any other type of accommodation. Being in the service industry for a long time, whenever we were on holiday, we craved being pampered ourselves.

  • Very poignant – thank you for sharing and reminding readers how important parents (and their legacies!) are!

  • [email protected]
    May 12, 2015

    This is a beautiful piece, and I hope writing – and travelling- helps the healing…

    • Robin
      June 20, 2015

      Thank you, Victoria. It did help. It was certainly a different writing process for me to share something so personal.

  • What a beautiful tribute to your mom! I am very sorry for your loss. I am glad you let us “know” this wonderful lady through your post.

  • Laura @Travelocafe
    May 16, 2015

    This is very moving. What a great read! Thanks.

  • Theodora
    May 17, 2015

    What a way to remember your mother. Lovely reading.

  • Blakely
    September 2, 2015

    I have worked in the hotel industry for over a decade. Your story is so inspirational. I share your love of travel and have similar Taste in hotels (heading to winnetu tomorrow)! Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I love it!

    • Robin
      September 2, 2015

      Thank you for your kind words! I know you will love the Winnetu.

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