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Helicopter Parents: Strategies For Landing

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Show Notes

0:00  Helicotper Parenting in a Pandemic

Helicopter parenting isn’t just about being nervous at the playground. Helicopter parents is  a loaded label, and we define it in this episode as a hovering parent trying to control an outcome.

4:27 When We Can’t Go To The ER As Easily

We discuss the pragmatic balance of reducing the risk of physical play during a pandemic when the same medical care isn’t as straightforward of an option.

7:19  HELICOPTER PARENTS DURING PLAY

Lynn gives exmaples of parents intervening in play that isn’t helpful.

She answers a listener’s question about her 6 year-old’s right to privacy and potty language habits while using facetime.

10:12  HELICOPTER PARENTING AND ACADEMICS

Lynn talks about the opportunities for parents who helicopter and intervene to step back in this new pass-fail scenario where the stakes aren’t so high and encourages ways to inject more independence with students.

13:06  What does helicopter parenting mean?

Lynn explains that academic helicopter parenting is a fear based effort not let the chips fall where they may, to not let a child fail out of fear of failure, being judged, or other reasons.

15:54 Bringing Unschooling into the home

We talk about the opportunity to introduce the importance of learning life skills from parents around the home, and discuss the chance to introduce unschooling opportunities—the chance for child-led learning on topics they choose over the summer.

Here’s the remote learning platform we are using.

20:23 Nearly everyone helicopters in at least one area

Some parents intervene more in their children’s school work, the safety of their play, their friendships or appearance. Lynn asks how parents might step away now from those areas and see what happens when the stakes aren’t so high.

24:41 THE CRUX OF THE HELICOPTER PARENTING

We want to protect our kids from hard feelings. Lynn gives examples of moms who won’t buy a pet so her daughter won’t have to grieve for it when it dies.

Her Mr. Rogers Talk is referenced. Watch it here.

Lynn outlines the key parenting habit that is a predictor of anxiety disorderes developing in children.

28:26 Homework for Parents

Lynn gives parents to some homework to think about and some language to use with their kids.

We suggest you join the Facebook group so you can submit questions for future episodes.

Helicopter Parenting

Episode Transcript

Lynn Lyons  0:00 

Helicopter parenting is a loaded label that some parents either wear with pride or are quick to deny. When we hover out of concern, what does that do to our children? While we may feel crowded in our homes during this lockdown, it is a good time to ask yourself if you give your kids the space they need for positive development.

So hi, everybody. We’re here again for another episode of A Mom’s Retreat. Hi, Robin.

Robin Hutson  0:28 

Hi, Lynn.

Lynn Lyons  0:29 

How are you?

Robin Hutson  0:30 

Good. I’m so excited to talk about this today.

Lynn Lyons  0:33 

This is a big topic, helicopter parenting. And I think that it’s particularly relevant perhaps to our current status of being in lockdown, because it’s sort of like you’re a helicopter parent and your living room is the helipad.

I mean, it is hard to get away from knowing everything that your kids are doing right now. It’s just perhaps making it harder to step back because of these unique circumstances.

Robin Hutson  1:02 

Yeah, and maybe even some families are experiencing the opposite where they may have wanted to hover more. But without childcare, and working full time, they find that they don’t have the ability to manage and make things go as they typically like to, as well.

Lynn Lyons  1:20 

Yeah. And it is sort of a lot to ask, isn’t it, to sort of say to people we need you to consciously parent right now? Because as we’ve talked about, at the beginning, all of this, there was so much permission. Look, we all know that it’s chaotic, and just get through the day.

And I think it’s really important for us to not give too much permission and actually use this opportunity to remind ourselves as parents of the opportunities to observe ourselves and to see what might be coming up and what might be revealed about the way that we parent.

It’s also an opportunity, I think. I really do think this is —to create some healthy space for exploration and learning. And that maybe thinking about young kids in particular, how are we allowing them to play on their own?

How are we allowing them to sort of figure out where reasonable risk is letting them be physical? Because right now, that’s pretty tricky.

A lot of the physical play that we have little kids do these days is either at recess at school or during PE class. A lot of them have scheduled activities and practices, and all of that is not happening right now. So, their play is actually pretty unstructured unlike the majority of what kids are doing during their days.

There’s a lot of research and a lot of information about the minimization of free play and the benefits of free play. So here we have a chance to be non-helicopter-y if we are actually letting our kids play.  Without us being there to supervise, and direct and coach.

Helicopter Parenting Definition
Robin Hutson  3:06 

It is, but the challenge that we’ve had in our family is that when we know we’re supposed to allow our kids that freedom of play, but the play might involve physical risks, that wouldn’t be a big deal if you fell from your scooter before. Or you were learning to ride a bike, and you had another accident or something. We’ve had a lot of freakish accidents in our family over the last few weeks during this pandemic lock down. My son slammed his teeth against the concrete from a fall, and we’re so grateful that we didn’t need a dentist, and my husband fell. We have a family member who had a bike accident.

All of us are getting hurt, and we can’t just access the ER in the same way.

And so, we’ve had this discussion after we’ve had two injuries on our family outings. It’s like, you know what? We’re not taking any unnecessary risk. And I know that’s going against everything you’re trying to say, but like, how do you balance that right now? How do you have a conversation with your kids in your family about “We’re gonna play this way, but we’re not gonna play this way” without it being a fear-based conversation, but more of a practical one?

Lynn Lyons  4:27 

Right. Well, I think you can make it practical. I think just the language that you’re using is very practical to say, and let’s not mistake… maybe we can redefine free play as not necessarily learning how to ride a bike at this particular juncture, or taking your scooter down the big hill or putting the mattress at the bottom of the stairs and seeing what it’s like to slide down the stairs in a cardboard box. (Which my children did do at one point).

So, I think I think let’s look redefine free play as reasonable play that doesn’t allow or doesn’t open the door for those risks. It’s really hard we walk a fine line because if you if you go on the if you go on the plan of, we’re going to eliminate the risk of injury that’s going to be problematic. But let me give you an example perhaps, of free play that isn’t risky, and what it looks like when you’re being helicoptering.

Helicopter Parents During Play

So, a woman that I know sent me this email, and she gave me permission to use this story because it was so apt. She lives in a neighborhood at the end of a cul de sac. There’s a lot of kids in the neighborhood. And of course, they’ve all been struggling with social distancing and not wanting to play.

So, they came up with a plan that they were all going to build a fort, in the cul de sac, appropriately distanced apart from each other, there’s enough space. And so, they all started bringing things out of their houses, I guess the way she described it, there were sticks and stumps and probably blankets and lawn chairs. And they were all each making each little sibling group was making their own little fort. And she said she’s watching this and she’s thinking how wonderful it is.

This is completely unstructured, free play. Not risky, but unstructured, free play. And she says, and then she sees a mom come out, and the mom starts instructing, and the mom starts telling kids how to make it better or what to do differently. I think that’s where we can really, particularly with younger kids, we can really let them have some of that free play, that we can really let them build and explore.

And I totally hear what you’re saying. Because I did hear actually, maybe it was somebody you guys know, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. He works in an ER in New York, in a children’s hospital. And they were just sitting around because none of the kids were coming in with stitches and broken bones because the play had been so limited. So, let’s, let’s absolutely risk factor that we don’t want kids to do things that are going to physically injure themselves. Although we can’t guarantee it.

Robin Hutson  7:05 

That’s right, there’s no ultimate control there, too. And that’s where it gets tricky, using language it makes me very self-conscious of trying to articulate that in a way that isn’t pretending I have a sense of control.

Lynn Lyons  7:19 

Well, and I think I think that we really can say to kids, you can say, “Under normal circumstances, I would really love you to climb that tree” or “Under normal circumstances, I think this would be awesome if you learn to ride your bike.” And we will accept the risk that learning how to ride a bike may involve falling off the bike, these are not normal circumstances. So, let’s just think about physical injury a little bit more than we normally would.

And let’s figure out how we can be creative and this and that, maybe you just you just put it right out there. But we have another factor to consider that we don’t usually have and see if you can use that language. Again, you don’t want to… it’s staying away from that catastrophic language that fear-based language and within your house with play with kids.

And again, I’m talking about, you know, younger kids. We’ll get to the older kids in a minute. But how do we give them more independence? It’s an opportunity for independence. There was a great question from one of the people from the Facebook page. I’ll just paraphrase it, wondering how she could provide her six-year-old with more independence now. He enjoys using FaceTime to talk to friends and cousins, he takes the phone, her phone, up into his room, and he chats, and he shows his friend his various collections, which I just can’t imagine that just being so cute, like, “Here’s my Legos. Here’s my fish. Everyone, say hello to my fish.”

But how much privacy should be allowed? She hears the conversations, and he might be using some potty language, she said, and are just getting wild, behaving in a way that if they were together for a playdate, she would redirect.

I think this is an opportunity. Maybe mom, just think about letting it go a little farther than even your worry or anxiety might let it go. Boys (and girls, but I have boys and you’re talking about your little son) they use potty talk. They use naughty language. They say things; they experiment with that language. If you hear him using a lot of that language, I would let it go when he’s with his friends, but I would have a talk with him afterwards, about knowing the difference between when and where he can use that language and when and where he can’t.

This is the conversation that I had with my boys about swearing which grandmother can you swear in front of? Which grandmother can you not swear in front? A very clear delineation, but being able to talk to him in a little postgame analysis.

What helicopter parenting does is it gets in the way of kids making those errors in judgment and being able to fix them and seeing where things go.

So, step back, let it get a little messy, and then step in and maybe help him ask those questions. That’s what I would do.

Helicopter Parenting and Academics

Helicopter Parents and School Success
Robin Hutson  10:12 

So, one of the other ways I think about helicopter parenting is about parents who might be hovering over their kids’ academic performances. And it’s interesting right now. I see people responding with a lot of stress, to the at-home learning prospect of what their kids are adapting to. And I see other families being much more laissez-faire about it. And sometimes the parents might be taking on a lot of unnecessary stress, because this is a unique time.

What would you say to parents who maybe are those kinds of parents who track academic performance? They might be having a difficulty adapting to this. So, what would you say about that?

Lynn Lyons  10:57 

Yeah, that’s a very good point. Because, as we were saying before, right, it’s really possible to hover when you’re all in the same house. And now it’s even more possible to hover, because you’ve been given a huge responsibility. A lot of parents have been given huge academic responsibility. So, they feel even more responsible, and I think even more stressed out and fearful that their kids are falling behind.

I just saw an article this morning talking about that and also that they’re not doing enough. So, then you’ve got the hovering because you feel guilty and you feel like the teachers are going to think you’re not doing enough. And so all of that worry comes out because remember, a lot of a lot of the helicoptering is really based on worrying about your kids and worrying about whether or not they’re going to be okay, and they’re going to do okay.

So, the helicoptering stuff with academics from my experience with talking to parents certainly shows up more intensely once kids move into middle school and high school because now there are grades, and they can look.

Usually there’s not student portals that parents can check on with elementary school kids. So, with those older kids, we’ve got all these concerns about grades and testing and a lot of stuff right now about what a transcript is going to look like. And things have gone to pass-fail. And how do you know if you’re pushing your kids enough because you can, you can sort of skate by with a passing grade when normally we want them to get a 92 or something like that. So, it’s bringing up a lot of this stuff for parents.

Here’s what I would say, once again. You have an opportunity here because we know that the stakes in terms of grades and testing and all of that kind of stuff the standards have been lowered.

Understandably, no kid is going to apply to college and the college admissions officer is going to look at your child’s application and say, “Oh my god, what the #^%@ was this kid doing during the spring of 2020?” Right? It’s just not gonna happen.

This is episode six and I think that’s my first f-bomb.

Robin Hutson  13:03 

It won’t be the last.

Lynn Lyons  13:06 

Well, Robin knows me the fact that I haven’t said one yet, is actually like a really? I mean, I think that’s a testament to my self-control. So, I’m going to give myself full credit that I just dropped an F-bomb in Episode Six.

Okay, moving on. So, nobody’s going to say that. So, what I think you want to recognize is here during this time, you have the ability to pay attention to where you might let your child develop some independence. Right?

What Does Helicopter Parenting Mean?

How can you step back?

Helicoptering often occurs because parents are so scared to let the chips fall where they may.

And I say this all the time. We are in such a competitive culture that letting the chips fall where they may feel like a huge sacrifice to make here. We have a little bit of room. Everybody understands the motivation is not so great. The situation is unprecedented as we keep saying. Teachers are feeling a little lost and unmotivated. Everybody’s just trying to figure it out.

So, here’s what I’d want you to do. I want you to think about what are the skills that you want your child, your teenager to have to be more independent, and how has this experience allowed you perhaps to see some of the work that needs to be done, because you in this role now as co-teacher, you may be seeing that your child has a really hard time scheduling. And you’ve always been there to make sure that everything stays on track.

Maybe your child should learn at this point how to get themselves up in the morning and get ready to be ready to go for their first Zoom meeting at nine o’clock. And you’ve been the human alarm clock; you’ve been the human snooze alarm, even.

Maybe this is the time where, because you’re not as rushed in the morning, you will allow your child to make his or her own breakfast on their own so that they can learn how to pour their milk in their cereal or make some scrambled eggs and clean up after themselves.

This is an opportunity with academics for you to step back a little bit, I would just talk to your child about that very openly and very directly. I would say, “Look, this is pass-fail. This gives us a little wiggle room. Let’s see what you can do.”

There is something called the zone of proximal development. And what that says is that you want to push your kid a little bit farther than you think that developmentally they’re capable of going. This pandemic is like one big giant zone of proximal development. You can push your kid a little farther and let them build those skills of independence. I think actually, this is a great time to do it, because the stakes are not so high.

Robin Hutson  15:54 

One of the things I had seen on Facebook that was very inspiring was addressing all have this fear of kids getting behind in their academic work, everyone’s experiencing this. So, it’s collectively happening to an entire population. Right? So, everyone’s sort of staying in the same place.

Un-Schooling Opportunities:
Child-led Learning

But it’s this great opportunity while we’re at home to introduce all of these practical and useful life skills. And I know we both are no strangers to Montessori education, though. Of course, like when they’re little and Montessori involves the kids learning to sweep the classrooms together, and they learn to do all these chores. We hung some pictures and we’re redecorating a couple of bedrooms and things. And it’s like “Kids, I’m going to show you how to hang a grid gallery on the wall.” So, it’s an opportunity that would not have happened without the pandemic. These are useful domestic life skills.”

Lynn Lyons  16:48 

Right? And it makes me think when you’re saying that it was something I hadn’t really thought of until you just said that. But with this pass-fail thing, it is also an opportunity for your kids to discover a love of learning without that pressure of being assessed and graded in numbers.

You know, I think that one of the things that all the pressure on grades and getting a good grade and your GPA, it absolutely squashes, what it’s like to read a book for enjoyment, what it’s like to investigate a topic and really have fun. The pass-fail is taking the pressure off, which rightfully, we need to do right now, because of the circumstances.

Robin Hutson  17:25 

This is an opportunity  because we’re always thinking of how the pandemic is creating opportunity? Well, it’s creating opportunity for us to make space for this type of learning. That wouldn’t fit in a really scheduled academic and activity calendar that we were all sustaining.

(This is the remote learning platform we are using with our kids. This affiliate link will give you $20 off your first class.)

Lynn Lyons  17:43 

Absolutely. Yeah. And I think you know, what, again, we talked like you’re, you’re hanging pictures. That’s a lot of math. That’s a lot of, you know, saying, Okay, so we’re going to measure down this and we’re going to do this, and what’s the distance? Cooking? All sorts of things, but really just saying … I love that idea of saying to a child, “What would you like to learn about? What’s something that you’ve been really curious about?” And I think we can look for those opportunities.

How To Stop Being a Helicopter Parent

Robin Hutson  18:12 

Do you think that when you are observing the families that you see, do you think that parents have a very hard time with the self-awareness who are hovering too closely too often? Is that a challenge where they’ll say, “Really, I’m hovering?” or do you feel like they’re like, “No, I know, I hover.”

Lynn Lyons  18:33 

I would say it’s split. I need you to pay attention to this. They will say, “Oh, I know. Everybody tells me that,” or “Oh, God, I’ve heard that you’re, you know, I’ve heard that 82 times.” And then we talk about how it is that they can follow through what’s getting in the way of them following through even though they’ve been told it 82 times.

And there are some people who come in and say like, “I don’t know where this comes from. And she’s so stressed about this or she she’s so worried that she’s not going to get it done, and it doesn’t come from us.” And so, then I start talking to the family, and then 18 minutes into the session, the mom or the dad sort of sheepishly says like, “Okay, I think it does come from us, actually, now that you’re saying it that way.”

 So, some people know it, and some people don’t. And then of course, there’s the third category, which is no matter how much I say stop hovering, they say, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they keep doing it. And, you know, I can’t bat 1,000.

Yeah, but I think it’s kind of split between people like they know they hover. Oh, it’s so hard. I have one mom who brought her daughter to me for a long, long time, and I see her commenting on Facebook a lot. And she always will say, “I’m still trying. I’m remembering your words. It’s still hard.” You know what I always write back? “I know. Keep at it.”

So, it’s sort of both I think.

Robin Hutson  19:50 

You know? It’s funny.

I was thinking of this litmus test of “Where do you hover?” And I think that if you ever ask yourself or think to yourself, “But if I didn’t intervene, ______.”

Right, isn’t that the crux of it? But if I didn’t tell them to go to their Zoom class, if I didn’t tell them to do this, but if I didn’t intervene and do this, someone would get hurt. Someone wouldn’t do their work, or someone might not… they might not live up to their potential.

Helicopter Parents Definition

The Crux of the Helicopter Parenting Definition

Lynn Lyons  20:23 

Right. Yeah, just and that sort of brings back to the place that that we hover out of fear. And I think it brings up sort of what we also know is sort of emotionally helicopter-y is that a lot of it is, you know, they might not live up to their potential, or they might not get the good grade, or they might not do this, or they might not do that.

But also, what drives a lot of this is that you step in because you don’t want your kids to feel badly, and we have a hard time tolerating their distress also.

So, a lot of you know, a lot of what parents step in, they step in because they want everything to go smoothly, or they want their kids to live up to their true potential, or they don’t want to be judged by other parents and all that.

But a lot of it also has to do— and this is particularly true with parents that would what define themselves as worried parents— is that they just don’t want their kids to feel bad. They are not able to sit with the uncertainty of not knowing how it’s gonna play out with their kids. And the disappointment, the loss, the worry, and right now, of course, we are feeling all those big feelings.

So it is sort of we’re asking people to look at they’re hovering and their helicoptering in a time when it is really hard to look at your hovering and helicoptering. And it’s really hard to let things go because we’ve got small spaces and big feelings, and that is a really tricky combination.

Robin Hutson  21:51 

You know, that’s the… you talk about this a lot if people haven’t watched your Mr. Rogers talk that you have on your website. I love when you describe this elimination culture, but then you, you talk about the story of not getting on the junior varsity basketball team or varsity basketball team in that talk.

And I think that that example is so evident of when we deny our kids the chance to feel bad feelings, we’re really denying them a normal growth process that’s really critical for their emotional development.

Lynn Lyons  22:28 

What is so essential about that the point that you’re bringing up is the way that kids learn that they can get through things in life is to experience them and then recovering from them. And so, this, there is a term called parental experiential avoidance, which refers to stepping in and working to eliminate distress.

And so how does a kid know that they can manage getting their heart broken or getting cut from the varsity basketball team or forgetting to go to a Zoom meeting and having to have an uncomfortable conversation with their teacher?

The only way they know that they can bounce back from those things, the only way that they know that they can be okay if they screw up or if their feelings get hurt is by allowing it to happen. And then loving and supporting them through it.

So I think when I look at the development, sort of the development of kids, the thing that is so critical to me is to allow them to feel those feelings and oftentimes we have to allow them to have the experiences which create the feelings, so that then they can know that they can be okay.

I remember this mom saying to me once “Well, My daughter is so sensitive, and she really wants a…” —I think it was a hamster or guinea pig. And she said, “I just don’t want to get her a hamster, a guinea pig because I know they don’t live that long. And I just don’t think that she can tolerate having her hamster,” I forget whatever it was, “her hamster die.” And to me, that was the reason that she should get her a hamster. Right? So that she could go through that loss and be okay. And have that experience.

Robin Hutson  24:11 

Because I think every parent has one area, that they’re going to hover more and care about more that’s going to align with values, etc.

Lynn Lyons  24:20 

Right.

Robin Hutson  24:20 

You know, I mean, I know, even you, I know where yours are, you know, because we’re family. And so, we care about certain things, And how is this pandemic and this extra stress, making that play out? What are we needing to pull back and reset?

Lynn Lyons  24:41 

And I think that’s the whole challenge of this is that it is going to expose the cracks and also allow for an amplification of our strengths. And its work, and that’s what again, when I said at the beginning, when everybody was.. it was sort of sort of saying, “You know, just get through and don’t have any expectations.” We’re done with that part of this.

We have to focus on amplifying strengths; we have to look for the opportunities that we have as parents to amplify the strengths.

Let me just.. if there was another reader question, I’d love to share with everybody because it was so relevant.

This one came from someone who says, “My daughter often says I’m nervous, which then leads me down a road of trying to help her feel better. I’m wondering if it has the opposite effect, though, making her think it’s bad to be nervous, and she’s 11.”

Robin Hutson  25:35 

What would you say to a child who says, “I’m nervous,” then?

Lynn Lyons  25:39 

I would say, “Of course, you are.” I would say you have every reason. If there’s a reason I would say that’s an understandable way to feel. Yeah, of course. Of course, you’re nervous. This is, you know, this is fill-in-the-blank. “This is an uncertain time,” or “You have to do something that you’ve never done before.”

It’s that stepping into to try and get rid of the emotion and to try— and this is where sometimes parents come off as controlling, because they’re trying to step in to change the event or get ahead of the experience— so that their child doesn’t have any of the emotion.

So instead of saying, “Well, of course, you’re going to be nervous,” you say, “Well, let me call ahead and make sure that blah, blah, blah.” You know, the story I tell all the time when I’m presenting is there was a mom whose daughter was afraid of dogs. And so, she would email all the parents on her daughter’s soccer team and say, “Please don’t bring your dogs to soccer practice, or else Lydia won’t get out of the car.”

She’s trying to get ahead of it so that her daughter doesn’t feel it. So, instead of instead of trying to talk them out of being worried, instead of trying to help her feel better, which generally means trying to get rid of the trigger to try and get rid of the situation.

You say, “Well, of course you’re going to feel nervous. How can we move forward and feel nervous at the same time? It’s really okay for you to feel nervous about this.”

That’s the permission that we want to give for kids to have experiences and have feelings at the same time. Yeah, you know, it’s sort of like if you’re if you’re grieving, and you say, “Oh, I’m so sad that this happened,” and somebody comes in with “Yeah, but,” Right? “Well, but at least…” Right? No, no, no, not at least, right? This is how I’m feeling. And of course, I should be feeling this way. I say to parents all the time, you should say to your kid, “It would be weird if you weren’t feeling that way.” Right?

Robin Hutson  27:30 

Think of how many moms have had a terrible birth, “Oh, but at least you have a healthy baby.”

Lynn Lyons  27:36 

And there’s that both again, that you can have those feelings and still, you can still be grateful that you have a healthy, healthy baby, of course and still have that experience of it being so hard and having your feelings about it.

So, again, getting the emotional hovering, is trying to get rid of the experience sometimes ahead of time, right.

I’m not going to buy her the guinea pig or I’m going to call everybody at a time, or I’m going to make sure the teacher knows, so that the child doesn’t experience those difficult feelings.

The more you do that, that that that actually that pattern of behavior is a very strong predictor of kids developing anxiety disorders, just so you know.

Robin Hutson  28:18 

Right, that’s when you use the phrase like, the anxiety becomes the cult leader of the home.

Lynn Lyons  28:23 

Right, the avoidance and the elimination.

The Effects of Helicopter Parents and How to Fix Them

Lynn Lyons  28:26 

Yep. And it just tells kids, you give the message, not on purpose, to the child, but you give the message that they’re not capable of handling things. So if we’re thinking about what to do as we move forward, let me just give you a little cheat sheet and some language and some words, you know, one thing that you can do in your family is that right now, take a little inventory of what you’re doing for your kids, probably automatically and you can do this when you’re not in a pandemic too, but certainly do it now.

Pick three things that you are doing automatically for your kids that they can probably do on their own maybe with a little instruction, and maybe they can do it on their own. Now, stop doing those three things, I want you to pay attention to any fear-based language that you’re using. Because when we helicopter, and when we want kids to stop doing things, we often throw in that catastrophic scenario to scare them out of doing it. So, pay attention to that.

And think about how you can increase their independence in all sorts of different ways. Hang back more than you want to, not completely. It’s not an all or nothing type thing, but hang back, observe. Let them get a little messy in all sorts of different ways. The message you want to give your child the message you want them to hear from you is you are competent, doesn’t mean you’re perfect, but you’re competent, and that they will learn things by doing. I want your kids to know that you can handle distress that they can handle distress, and that life is messy in all sorts of ways.

Lynn Lyons  29:59 

All right. So, Thanks, everybody, for listening. Robin, it’s nice to see you virtually the only time we’re seeing each other.

Next Episode

Robin Hutson  30:07 

Well, what’s our next topic going to be?

Lynn Lyons  30:09 

Our next topic, we’re going to talk about: sleep, which is something that we can talk about that our sleep as adults, sleep of our kids. So, there’s all different ramifications of sleep during this time and in general. So that’s a that’s a hot topic.

So, go ahead and join the Facebook group so you can ask questions that we may use during a future episode. Please, please share this with any parenting group or school list that you have. So, we can keep offering this virtual support to as many parents as possible right now.

Remember, it’s about connection, not perfection. It’s so important that we continue to reach out and support each other through this. Parenting is hard under the best of circumstances and is certainly tricky now. So, we’ll see you soon. I’ll see you soon, Robin.

Robin Hutson  30:57 

Thanks, Lynn. Bye.

Lynn Lyons

Bye- bye.

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